For those of you who don't know my hubby is a policeman who has just been appointed a Detective in the CID full time as of last week. Generally what this means is he works non stop, for very ridiculously low wages for what he does and is hardly ever here. When he is here he gets phoned a lot and is constantly in work mode. I don't mind him having the career he wanted but I would like just a bit of 'real' family time sometimes. Caleb misses his daddy a lot when he's not here physically and mentally and I miss the support.
As well as Hubby's job I feel a bit fed up with our house situation and where we live. We bought this house 4 years ago with the intention of doing the vast quantity of upgrading it needed and moving on. I was a mortgage advisor at the time and doing a lot of mortgages for property developers. It was something I was desperate to get into. We bought our house in a minimal state of repair with new central heating and a kitchen but the rest needed doing. We intended to put the work in ourselves then sell up fast while the market was good, making a bit and buying another project. It wasn't to be. The market started crashing just as we were mid upgrading, and work started drying up for me, so money got tighter. I found out i was pregnant and lost my job all in one month and the house lay unfinished. It still has small jobs outstanding but we feel after 4 years we nearly have to start upgrading the decor and interior again already if we were to put it on the market. House prices are still to low for us to do so in this area yet. We wont make money but just to have the option to move on would suit me.
We have never had a holiday together since we met 8 years ago as we never had the money, saving for a wedding and to buy a house together. I'm desperate for a change of scene and the kids have never had a holiday as a family. Sophie will be 13 soon and never been abroad or even on holiday with us.
Sometimes I feel my place is to work at home, alone as a mum and housewife and general skivvy most of which I generally enjoy but I need some fun too. There's not many nights out. One since Caleb was born 19 months ago with my Husband which was cut short when Caleb took swine flu. Even a nice day out as a couple with no kids would be wonderful. My husband feels the ground hog day effect too and it's taking its toll on us both.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everything we have for its good points as well as its bad. I have two beautiful healthy kids, a generally lovely (if a bit grumpy) husband, a roof over my families heads, and food in their mouths. I would just like a bit of light hearted fun in my life to lift the mood around here once and a while.
Rant over. Sorry.
Aww, I know that it sounds cheeky since I just got back from the States, but I know how you feel xxx
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just go through groundhog no matter what hon.xxx
ReplyDeleteIts tough when you dont have anything to look forward to. Holidays, days or nights out keep us going. When we dont have that to look forward to it hits hard. I know how you feel, we moved over to Ireland just as the recession hit. We too bought a house with a view "to doing it up" now I am not working it is never getting done - and to make it worse we have lost a lot of money on it - so cant even sell it. Things will pick up - or so I am being told. But I do understand why things get you down - I feel the same way. Would just love to look forward to something nice for a change.
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