My Fear of my Baby Choking

Let me take a minute to explain the eating situation with my boy and why it makes me panic regularly.

Most babies start on solid food between 6-9months, some younger some a bit older. You start them on stage one type pureed food. If you're like me you'll boil veg, fruit and all sorts of goodies and freeze them in tiny pots for use. I did it all. Everything I made he choked and vomited on at 6 months so I put him back onto milk only and he continued to thrive and put on weight so I left it a while and thought once his feeds weren't enough he'd let me know. 8 months came and he got two teeth and liked yogurt which was fine, so I started making more food and trying him again. This time I bought a fine sieve and even after I'd blitzed the mixture in the processor I'd pass it through the sieve too. Again he choked and vomited and again I took him off the food.

Eventually at around 10 months I started buying stage one jars of food for him and he seemed to do not too badly but now and again he still gagged and wretched on them. I persevered though and soon he managed them and yoghurt's along with his milk feeds and did really well. Every 6 weeks or so I would try him again on lumps and biscuits and again he would gag and projectile vomit everything in his stomach up again.

At 13 months I took him to the doctor as by this time he was refusing all solid food which made me think he must be hungry and worried me. The doctor referred him to the hospital where they said they'd get an appointment for him to have a camera down his throat under anesthetic to check the muscles in his throat. Apparently it's fairly common for them to be under developed and need steroids to help them build up.

In March at 15 months and a week before his hospital appointment he caught Noro Virus and was violently ill for 7 days with no res bite whatsoever from vomiting. He lost half his weight and was at the stage where the doctor was just putting off admitting him to hospital to be put on a drip. Eventually it cleared up and as soon as the virus had cleared he was eating everything and anything. The first day he wasn't sick he ate toast, chicken, pasta, banana and crisps. This was completely alien for us and as my confidence was so badly dented with all the weaning problems I've had with him I felt I couldn't trust my instincts. So I held back a lot of food which might be a choking hazard with him. Hes only just catching up now with other kids at 20 months. He has no fear of anything but every time he gets something new to eat I cant feel the panic setting in.

I know I have to stop this and let him try all different things but I still feel the fear of him

choking every single day.