In response to Tara Cains Gallery prompt this week I'm writing about what motherhood means to me. In this photo it means 'harmony'. They are my harmony and happiness and without either of them I don't have these in my life. Its taken me a long time to get here but that's what motherhood means to me now.
First time round 12 years ago I had my Daughter. By the time she was born I was single and terrified. First time round it meant severe Post Natal Depression and fear. Fear of everything. Fear of not loving my child, fear of losing my child, fear of the unknown, fear of meeting someone and them wanting another child and fear of my future with this child. She was beautiful, perfect and text book but i still couldn't understand how I was supposed to do this motherhood thing alone. It took me 4 years to even accept that this was my life and all I had to do was love her and do my best by her.
It took me 11 years to pluck up the courage to go through it again and I had my son. When he was born I was married to my lovely husband and I was excited if a bit apprehensive. Second time round, again it meant mild Post Natal Depression which I have battled everyday since he was born but am winning against. There was no fear, no uncertainty of my future and no panic about any more babies, just an overwhelming sense of this is my life/job and its the best one in the world. I love it.
Since he was born motherhood has meant Love. Intense, overwhelming, out of this world love, for both my kids. He made me open my eyes up to what an amazing, talented and gorgeous baby girl I have too. She might be nearly my height and turning into a stunning young lady but shes still that baby I found so hard to be a mother to but now it feels so natural. Shes wonderful with the little one and will herself make an amazing mother one day of which I am very proud.
Motherhood is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I hope I'm blessed with more kiddies and I do the best job I can forever as their 'Mummy'.