Did you ever have a best friend at school? The kind of friend you spend all day at school with and then rush home to phone. The kind of friend you know what they're going to say before they say it. The kind of friend you share every thought with and go on holiday with each others families because two weeks apart is just too much time. The kind of friend who cries on your shoulder over her breakup with her first boyfriend and you on hers.
I had one. I had a friend who was my best friend ever. We spent hours on the phone together every night and went every where with each other. I met her when I moved to Troon at age 12 and we were best friends all the way through secondary school. We told each other everything and knew each other as well as we knew ourselves. Soon into our friendship we found we had the same tastes in everything. We used to turn up at school wearing the same sweaters and shoes on the same days. We went clubbing for the first time together and our boyfriends always had to be friends so we could all go out together.
When we were 18 she met her serious boyfriend and they bought a house and moved in together. That was when things changed quite a bit. I didn't really like him or trust him but we still spent time together when he wasn't around and I still considered her my best friend.
When we were 19 I moved away and we lost touch a bit more although still managed birthday and Christmas contact and I saw her when I was home visiting but by the time I was 21 and pregnant with Sophie we had drifted so far apart I didn't feel like I could confide in her about what was going on as by then she'd moved to another house in another town and stopped getting in touch. So I sat down one day and wrote her a card telling her how I felt and how I missed her. She got in touch and we went out for a meal together and I really felt like we were getting back on track. When Sophie was born she came to see me and was the first person I phoned to say she was here. She came to my flat to visit a few times and see the baby with gifts and for a chat. At this time I felt so like she wasn't the person I knew before. We didn't see each other after Sophie turned 4 months although she phoned briefly once or twice. Eventually during a call I told her how I was feeling, that she'd changed and didn't value our friendship as much as I did. I thought talking about it might help. It was the end of our friendship. I never heard from her again.
That is I never heard from her again for 14 years until recently. I got a Christmas card hand delivered last year from her saying she'd seen me and was living along the road from us now. She's with a different man now after 11 years of a miserable relationship and has a lovely little daughter who's 4. She put her phone number on the card and asked me to phone her if I wanted to see them and how she'd love to meet Sophie again and see Caleb. Although we live a street away from each other we 'd never bumped into each other in 3 years, I genuinely didn't know they lived there. So it took me a while to pluck up courage to text her. I thought by text if she'd changed her mind and didn't want to see me at least she had an out but she was so happy to hear from me and invited us for lunch. As it turned out although I accepted the kids were both ill the week we arranged it for and had to cancel but said we'd rearrange. We never did. Then this week she contacted me through Facebook and I asked her round for a drink on Friday night without the pressures of the kids and partners. I said we'd get out all the old photos and have a girlie night.
So we did. Friday past she came round for 5 hours and we caught up on everything and went over why we fell out. A lot of the problems were the different paths our lives had taken and how hard at our young age it was to understand and live and let live, but its funny how our lives have come full circle and here we are again. Her partners a policeman too and now she's a mum we have that in common too,
It was so lovely to relive all our old memories. I don't expect to go back to the way things were as we both have other friends in our lives now and busy family commitments but its so nice to not have the loss of me best friend on my mind. Now and again over the years I've wanted to tell her stuff or cry on her shoulder like when my other closest friend died in a car accident 11 years ago. We still have a lot to catch up on and to meet each others families properly but I really hope we get there. She was very special to me and always will be whether we're best friends or just people who catch up now and again.